How to deal with the inevitable setbacks, roadblocks and frustrations on the road to success.
Dale Carnegie was fond of saying that we should only talk about subjects on which we’ve earned the right to speak. And I have earned the right to speak on this topic.
Near the end of 1991, my company’s cash flow (and my own) took on the glide angle of a brick. On top of that I was going through a separation and divorce and I had health problems. It was the darkest time of my life.
At forty years old, my life felt like it was over. I’d failed, I’d made some big mistakes, I’d let people down. And I was broke.
Actually, being broke would have been an improvement. Instead, I was hundreds of thousands of dollars in debt with no assets to show for it.
I had to dig deep to rebuild my self-esteem and my life. These are some of the things I did in order to do that.
They work. Today, my life—on all fronts— is better than it’s ever been. I wouldn’t trade my life with anyone.
Don’t Take it Personally
Recognize that these things happen to everyone. It rains on all people. You don’t deserve to have hard times, but they do happen. The Universe is NOT conspiring against you.
Look for the Learning
Napoleon Hill said, “Every adversity has the seed of an equal or greater benefit.” Look for the good that could come from your situation. It may be hard, but you can find something.
As Jim Rohn says, “Don’t ask for things to be easier, ask for YOU to be better.”
It’s not what we accomplish but what we BECOME that’s important.
We all like to win. It would be nice to succeed all the time, but it’s not that kind of planet. Failure and disappointment are part of life and can be character-building.
When you make your final trips around the sun, it will be the person you have become that’s important. Your accomplishments will be secondary.
Don’t Ask Why
“Why” questions seldom have any payoff. A better question would be, “How can I do it differently?” Or, “What else can I do?”
Stay away from the “why” questions. Remember, if it were easy, everyone would be doing it.
This Too Shall Pass
Nothing lasts forever—good times or bad. Look at your difficulty as a winter, not a year. No matter how bleak it may seem, it WILL pass.
Be Flexible
Set your goals in concrete and your plans in sand. People who succeed more often than they fail have learned to develop behavioral flexibility. They don’t do it just one way. They change directions. They change strategies. They even change their goals.
Have a Support System
Hang out with positive, supportive—but honest—people. Read good books and listen to inspiring and encouraging tapes.
Save your emotion for the desire of your goals.
Ignore the Critics
Far too many dreams have been slain by dream-killers. Stay away from critics. If you can’t stay away from them, at least learn to ignore them. Develop a thick skin but maintain a soft heart—never the reverse.
Forgive Yourself for Your Errors
It may be that you’re experiencing difficult times because of mistakes you’ve made. It’s important to recognize your errors, but it’s just as important to forgive yourself for them. Correction without invalidation is the rule.
These are some great ways to deal with setbacks, roadblocks and frustrations on the road to success.
Recommended Reading
Best Life Book Series
The path to your best life is through your Compelling Core Values, your Empowering Purpose, your Meaningful Mission, your Vital Vision and your Solid Goals. And this series has a book for each of them. Pick out individual ones or get the whole series.
