How to Talk to Yourself

The discipline to focus on the task at hand rather than on what’s already happened or what might happen in the future is a critical skill for success in any endeavor.

I witnessed something recently on the tennis court that made quite an impression on me. And it’s a technique that can be used in instances other than tennis.

On an adjacent court to the one on which I was playing, one of the local tennis pros was instructing a girl about 12 years old. He was feeding her balls from across the net and she was attempting to return them to his side of the court.

What he coached her to do was say out loud, “Good job!” every time she hit the ball well and it landed where it was supposed to land. Sounds like good self talk, right?

But when she DIDN’t stroke the ball well, he told her to say, again out loud, “Focus.”

I found this very interesting. What it did was get her mind off from the missed shot and onto the next ball coming over the net.

And it was working for her, too.

Whether you’ve played tennis or not, I’m sure you can understand how easy it is to get down on yourself when you miss a shot. But when you do, your focus is on your mistake rather than on hitting the next shot well.

Thinking about what happened—especially if you are upset about it—takes you out of the game. You’re no longer in present time, and you’re thinking about what you don’t want instead of what you DO want.

When you make a mistake or something doesn’t happen the way you would like, instead of saying something negative to yourself, say, “Focus” and then focus on what you want. I think this is a great strategy.

It’s great training for improving your self talk and we can all stand to improve on that.

I believe that most people would be unable to keep any friends if they talked to their friends the way they talk to themselves.

So start saying “Good job!” and “Focus” where appropriate and see for yourself how much better you will do—whether hitting tennis balls, working on a project or writing an article.

And if you want to become and remain fiercely focused on achieving your goals and growing your business, I recommend the book below on identifying and eliminating your tolerations.

Recommended Reading

The Secret to Being Fiercely Focused

How to Have More Energy, Less Stress and Get More Done by Tackling Your Tolerations
The simple strategy of identifying and eliminating Tolerations has been proven to be highly effective. But don’t allow its simplicity to make you think it’s not extremely powerful—even life-changing. 

Stop Being Nibbled to Death by Ducks! That’s what it feels like when you are nagged by pesky Tolerations that keep you from living your best life. It’s time to declutter your mind.


Michael E. Angier
founder and CIO (Chief Inspiration Officer) SuccessNet.org

Michael is the author of over a dozen books on living your best life. Available on Amazon at www.amazon.com/author/michaelangier

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