I got quite a few responses to my article, Intentions Without Attachment.
Most agreed with my premise, but a few were doubtful. One even stated emphatically that it would not work.
I certainly don’t think you should be mamby pamby about your goals. And I don’t advocate simply giving up just because the going gets tough.
But you have to admit that many goals are not entirely within our control. And taking a “Type A” approach and trying to force something to happen that is outside of our influence will make for some very unhappy experiences—for you and for those around you.
It’s my belief that it’s our attachments to something being a certain way that creates our emotional pain. The same holds true for our attachments to things NOT being a certain way.
Making something wrong never makes it right.
Being upset about something that has already happened is fruitless. It’s done. It’s over. And no one can change what’s already happened. You can judge it. You can be mad about it, but it doesn’t matter. All we can do is learn from it, readjust and move one.
So get clear. Claim what you want. Commit to doing what you need to do to make it happen—and do it. But if your intended result falls short or doesn’t happen, you have some new decisions to make.
My recommendation is to ask, What Worked? What Didn’t? And What’s Next?
This simple process helps me get clear, stay focused and take consistent and productive action toward the achievement of my goals.
So be serious about your intentions, but don’t get attached to them. Recommit, take a different tack, try something new—and sometimes you may even want to select a new goal.
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