We’ve all received The Gift from others. And we’ve all given this gift to others. Sometimes it was big and sometimes it seemed small. There were times it meant a lot and other times it didn’t seem to carry much weight at all. We’ve received it when we least expected it and not received it when we thought we would.
What is this gift?
It’s the gift of acknowledgement.
When we acknowledge someone for something they do or say, we call attention to, and favorably recognize, their act or achievement. And in doing so, we honor them.
No doubt there are some special acknowledgements you’ve received over the years that you have appreciated and treasured. They’ve meant something to you, and you’ve remembered them ever since.
One of these was given to me 20 years ago. It was from my youngest son, Will—who at the time was only 11. We had several people over for dinner for the evening, and like many of our get-to-gethers, we had engaged in some stimulating and thought-provoking conversation. Will was the only youngster there, but he seemed quite engaged and interested in our discussion. I think he’s an old soul.
When our guests left, Will and I continued to chat. And that’s when he said something to me I’ve never forgotten. He said, “Dad, I like the effect you have on people.”
I can’t think of anything an 11-year-old boy could have said to me that meant more than that statement. He noticed and acknowledged me for having influenced the conversation such that the others were inspired to share their thoughts, feelings and beliefs in profound ways.
And it reminded me of something Carl W. Buehner wrote: “They may forget what you said—but they will never forget how you made them feel.”
It was an incredibly precious gift, and I have treasured it ever since.
I have not given this gift of acknowledgement as well or as often as I should over the years, but I’m committed to doing better.
As I write this, I am on day 89 of sending my wife, Dawn, a daily email thanking her and acknowledging her for something she’s done for me or others. There have been no duplicates since I started, and I don’t think I will ever run out of things to acknowledge her for. Because I’m LOOKING for things to find. And you find what you’re looking for.
We all have this gift to give. It takes only a little thought and a little time. And there’s no limit to how much and to whom we can give these special gifts.
Many times, I’ve acknowledged people for things that they didn’t even realize they had done. And they were genuinely surprised that they had done something that others thought had value. Without telling them, they would not have even known. And it’s good to know. It feels good. And it’s very likely that it encourages them to do more.
It’s human nature to criticize, condemn and complain. And most people do it very well. But what if we listen to the “Better Angels of our Higher Nature” and actively look for things we can catch people doing right? And then tell ’em!
I doubt it’s possible to out-gift anyone in this endeavor.
Recommended Reading
How to Create a Vital Vision for Your Life
Live Your Life by Design Instead of by Default
No thinking person would ever start to build a house from just a rough sketch or a vague idea. And yet, hardly anyone has specific plans for how they want their life to be. Our lives are certainly more important than a house. This book gives you the impetus, the tools and the guidelines to create a meaningful, inspiring and detailed vision for your best life.
