Editor’s Note: This article was originally published on SuccessNet.org in March or 2019.
My father is almost 95 years old. And he’s in good physical health.
Except that he has dementia.
He recognizes me, but most of the time he’s not able to come up with my name. He recently introduced me to someone as his brother. We have good conversations, but they take a lot more work than they used to. He often doesn’t know where he is.
He’s in a memory unit in a Veteran’s Nursing home about 40 minutes from where I live, so I’m able to visit him often. It’s a wonderful facility and he has exceptional care.
My wife and I were fortunate to have Dad stay with us each winter for the past nine years. But last spring, things got to be too much. It was clear that he required 24-hour care.
My brothers and I decided that the nursing home was what Dad needed and he went in in April of last year.
It was a little challenging for the first few days (for us more than him) but he adjusted extremely well. He’s an easy-going man with a great disposition and a wonderful sense of humor. Thankfully the dementia hasn’t changed that. The staff love him.
After a recent visit with my father, I was thinking about how much at peace he seemed to be—actually happy. And it occurred to me why that was so.
He remembers only pieces of the past. He doesn’t plan for the future. He’s not worried or concerned about anything. All his needs are met.
All he has is the current moment. And there’s very little to take him out of that moment.
It’s sad to see him deprived of his memories from such a rich and eventful life. But it does have its plus side.
He no longer grieves the loss of his wife of 64 years or his youngest son who died at only 52. He no longer is depressed by the loss of some of his crew when he was shot down over Germany in 1944. And he certainly doesn’t get worked up over the news of the day.
I’m very grateful he’s able to live so much in the present.
It’s something we can all appreciate.
We may have our memories and our plans for the future, but we must live in the precious present. We can’t do anything to change the past and our future is never certain. Our life is lived only in the present.
As Ram Dass said, “Be here now.”
Dementia taught me something I won’t forget.
I’m grateful to have the time I have had, and still do, with my father. Thank you for allowing me to share my personal story and experience with you about the power of being present.
Best Life Truth: The Point of Power is in the Present.
