What Do They Really Want?

This article was originally published on SuccessNet.org in 2006.

Clarity does lead to power. And knowing what you really want is critical to achieving your highest and best.

But do you truly know what your spouse wants from you? Do you really know what your employee or your boss wants from you? And are you clear about what you want from THEM?

My wife and I just spent another memorable weekend on Lake Champlain. The weather was great, the food was delicious, and of course, the company was excellent.

One of the things that made it even more special was a deep and intense conversation that resulted from two simple questions about which we decided to dialog.

Dawn and I have a great relationship, and after 11 years together, we feel we know each other very well. And we also believe we can make our relationship better and understand each other better.

Before we left on our overnight trip, we decided to individually list the answers to two questions.

  1. What do I want, or want more of, from Michael/Dawn?
  2. What I DON’T want, or want less of, from Michael/Dawn?

Then after dinner, in the cozy cockpit of “Attitude”, with a beautiful sunset as a backdrop, we began our dialog.

Our plan was to each offer one of our answers from both questions. We then discussed them in detail. It made all the difference in the world to have this discussion when we were both open and receptive, rather than when we were tired, upset or stressed—which, in most relationships, is when these discussions take place.

We had several ahas, some new insights, MUCH greater clarity and the chance to be more loving to one another.

I highly recommend this simple process for anyone wanting to create a better relationship. It provides the opportunity to love and care for the other person in the way they would like to be loved and cared for.

Try it and see for yourself. I’m sure you’ll discover things you didn’t expect and realize assumptions you’ve made that were erroneous. The end result is greater understanding, more intimacy and more fun.

Recommended Resource

Clarity Leads to Power!

How to Gain and Maintain the Clarity You Need for Living Your Best Life


With the clarity mindset, you can live with more intention, connect more deeply with others, and make a greater impact. Say goodbye to feeling overwhelmed. Say hello to purpose, passion, and the power to create the life you truly want.


Michael E. Angier
founder and CIO (Chief Inspiration Officer) SuccessNet.org

Michael is the author of over a dozen books on living your best life. Available on Amazon at www.amazon.com/author/michaelangier

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