I have very few pet peeves. Lane drifters, loud profane talk, people who cut you off—in traffic and in mid-sentence—are some of the few.
But one of the biggest is people who monopolize conversations.
These people must wonder why others tend to avoid them. And the reason is they simply talk too much, don’t listen well—or both.
Some talkers are actually fairly interesting to listen to—for awhile. Maybe they’re uncomfortable with periods of silence or they simply feel the need to entertain. But they just don’t stop. It becomes trying, tiresome and eventually, just plain annoying.
Could this be you? Don’t answer too quickly. Because the sad fact is that very few motor-mouths realize just how much they talk. They’re in denial. Just because people feign listening to you doesn’t mean you’re a great conversationalist. People mostly consider great conversationalists ones who ask stimulating questions and then listen well.
Here’s some of the people I’m talking about:
Charley Chimers: They have to have something to say about everything. And much of it sounds like—and often is—one-upmanship. Not every thought has to be shared and not every subject has to be commented upon. But they think it does.
Patty Prattlers: These PPs rarely take a breath and create no spaces between their words. Maybe they fear someone else will talk instead of them. It’s constant, rapid-fire and almost as painful as bullets.
Doug Dullers: These people talk about anything and nothing. I call it drapery talk—conversations about the color of the drapes—or any other thing that simply doesn’t matter or isn’t really interesting.
Mary Me-Mes: MeMes are all about themselves. If the “conversation” isn’t about them, they always find a way to bring it BACK to them. It’s a form of narcissism
Are you one of these people? Are you sure? Try asking a trusted friend or two if you are too much of a talker? Ask your close friends and family if they usually feel heard in your presence. Inquire as to what improvements you could make into being a better communicator.
I’m not suggesting you become a “Silent Sam”, but I am strongly suggesting you monitor how much you talk and how you’re coming across to others. The goal should be to talk less and say more. Like anything, it’s about balance.
“The goal should be to talk less and say more.”
The biggest room in the world is the room for improvement. And we can all get better at something we do every day. And these improvements will pay off in attracting new and better friends, enhance existing relationships, provide more professional advancement opportunities and likely create more income for you.
This article was originally published on SuccessNet.org in 2010.
