In a physical sense, most of us enjoy freedom. In an emotional or psychological sense, however, an estimated 80% of the population puts themselves into a self-imposed prison cell on a regular basis. We forfeit our freedom of choice through our own thought processes. I frequently hear my clients say, "I have to" or "I gotta" or "I should." And when I hear those phrases I often ask, "Do you have to or do you choose to?"

There are very few things in life that we have to do. Yet some of us forfeit our choice to the point of seeing our options in life as limited. This generally leads to a feeling of hopelessness.

There are indeed times when you're not at choice. When you're not at choice, you may be a victim. And sometimes you might slip into the victim role when, in fact, you do have choices. The first step toward getting out of a self-imposed victim role is to recognize the choices you have.

Exercise Your Free Will
We have been given the ability to examine our conscious thoughts and choose how we react in any given situation. We learn at a very early age that if we act a certain way, we'll achieve a certain result.

Often the result we opt for is safety. And safety is necessary to preserve our physical well-being. However, our desire to be "safe" sometimes paralyzes our ability to exercise our free will. From childhood on, most of us have been programmed to "play it safe," and this often affects the choices we make as adults. We tell ourselves, "That was so disappointing before, so I better not take that chance again."

Do you allow your fear of hurt, rejection or failure to determine how much risk you are willing to take? What is the cost of doing this? Perhaps you're stuck in a job or career path you hate, or you're in a relationship that doesn't serve you, or you've chosen not to pursue a relationship you want. 

Do you struggle with low self-esteem and self-confidence? If so, you're probably severely hampering your ability to manifest what you want in your life by convincing yourself that you shouldn't try, or that you don't deserve what you really want. Our choices are strongly influenced by our disempowering emotions. By learning to recognize and step out of experiencing these emotions, a whole new world of possibility will be available to you.

I know this from personal experience. For 13 years I chose to stay in a stressful career that I did not find fulfilling. The more time I invested in that career path, the less at choice I felt. At one point I took an exam to receive a special certification in my field. When I passed the exam and was certified, I felt like there was no turning back! I told myself, "I can't leave this field now. Look how much I've invested in it!" And besides, I had no idea what else I could possibly do. Fear held me back, until one day the pain of not making a change outweighed the fear of the unknown.

Inside-Out Thinking
"If your success is not on your own terms, if it looks good to the world but does not feel good in your heart, it is not success at all." -Anna Quindlen

Most of us grew up with an "outside-in" model of thinking. In other words, we've been influenced by the advice and opinions of others rather than trusting the answers from within. When we follow the outside-in model, the results don't usually bring about a deep level of satisfaction or fulfillment. Outside-in thinking means that we try to change, improve or transform ourselves and our circumstances based on what others think.

Outside-in thinking represents a reactive model, based on external circumstances. Not only is this less effective, but it usually takes more effort and energy.

The "inside-out" model of thinking represents a proactive model, which is based on accessing one's own internal wisdom and core values. The word "proactive" means more than merely taking initiative. We have the initiative and the responsibility to make things happen. When we align our actions with the essence of who we are and what we value most, we're using the inside-out model. As each of us more fully honors our essential selves and our values, outer conditions begin to change, improve and even transform.

One of the best illustrations of the power of "inside-out" came to me when I was a child. I went to see the movie Papillon. For those not familiar with this story, Henri Charriere was a Frenchman who was convicted in 1931 of a murder he didn't commit. Sentenced to life imprisonment, he spent 12 years in the penal colony of French Guiana. After eight unsuccessful attempts to escape, he finally got away to Venezuela. More than 20 years later, when he was 60, Charriere wrote his story, which became an international best seller and was made into a movie. One scene from the movie has stuck with me all these years. Charriere was locked in a dark, small cell in solitary confinement almost 24 hours a day. The only living things sharing the tiny prison cell with him were the roaches. He chose to make these roaches his "friends" and actually looked forward to seeing them on the occasions when a beam of light would come into his cell so he could see.

Now, if you're like me, I was taught that roaches were not my friends. This scene in the movie taught me a very important lesson in life: It is not our circumstances that make or break us, but rather our response to those circumstances.

Although we may never find ourselves in Charriere's circumstances, I believe most of us are mentally imprisoned by our own response to experiences in our lives. When we experience emotions like fear, anger and jealousy, we have chosen thoughts that put us in the smallest of jail cells. These emotions completely paralyze our freedom of choice.

During the month of July, as the U.S. celebrates another year of independence, let's give pause to consider how each of us can be liberated by our own choices and live our lives more intentionally.

Kathy Paauw, a certified business/personal coach and organizing/productivity consultant, specializes in helping busy executives, professionals and entrepreneurs declutter their schedules, spaces and minds. Contact her at orgcoach@gte.net or visit her website at http://www.orgcoach.net and learn how you can Find ANYTHING in 5 Seconds—Guaranteed!