Our Attachments Create Our Unhappiness

I got quite a few responses to last week’s article, “Intentions Without Attachments.

Most agreed with my premise, but a few were doubtful. One even stated emphatically that it would not work.

I’m guessing that most of them did not quite get my point.

I certainly don’t think you should be mamby pamby about your goals. And I don’t advocate simply giving up just because the going gets tough.

But you have to admit that many goals are not entirely within our control. And taking a “Type A” approach and trying to force something to happen that is outside of our influence will make for some very unhappy experiences—for you and for those around you.

It’s my belief that it’s our attachments to something being a certain way that creates our emotional pain. The same holds true for our attachments to things NOT being a certain way.

Making something wrong never makes it right.

Being upset about something that has already happened is fruitless. It’s done. It’s over. And no one can change what’s already happened. You can judge it. You can be mad about it, but it doesn’t matter. All we can do is learn from it, readjust and move one.

So get clear. Claim what you want. Commit to doing what you need to do to make it happen—and do it. But if your intended result falls short or doesn’t happen, you have some new decisions to make.

Because being upset about what “should” have been will get you nowhere. It’s fruitless—at least on this planet.

Our Diamond Club MasterMind Teams have a proven format for their meetings: What Worked? What Didn’t? and What’s Next?

This simple format helps them get clear, stay focused and take consistent and productive action toward the achievement of their goals.

We’re serious about our intentions, but we don’t get attached to them. We re-commit, take a different tack, try something new—and sometimes even select a new goal.

We practice “Correction Without Invalidation”. And it works.

Make it a great day!

  1. October 17th, 2010 at 12:51 | #1

    I believe that we set goals so we can allow the precessional effect to work. Our “true purpose” always (generalized principle) happens at 90 degrees. We all need to be little Bucky’s (Buckminster Fuller.) Great post!.

  2. October 18th, 2010 at 15:21 | #2

    Hi Michael,
    It seems that when we’re attached to things…we don’t allow space for new opportunities – or more of the good stuff – to come our way. I’ve found that when we can loosen the grip, step back, and take a breath, all kinds of exciting possibilities are right in front of us!
    Thanks for this right-on reminder. I will make it a great day; you, too!