By Michael Angier
Have You Ever Been Intimidated?
A reader wrote to me recently asking for advice on how to deal with an intimidating boss.
This young man told me about his bad experience with a previous supervisor who had shouted at him and belittled him.
And in his current job, he found himself being nervous—afraid to say what’s on his mind. He is even so scared and intimidated he is often unable to answer questions well.
Most of us have felt intimidated from time to time. Someone larger and more powerful or with authority over our job and livelihood can make us confused and unsettled.
But what we have to realize is that unless we’re being threatened with bodily harm, we’re ALLOWING ourselves to be intimidated.
In many cases, we’re being intimidated by people who don’t intend to do so. It’s our own insecurity, our own unwillingness to claim our power that's responsible. It's our FEAR that’s causing us to feel intimidated.
It can also be our desire to please people at our own expense that gets in our way, but even that's a fear—the fear of people not liking us.
Yes, there are times when others try to wield power over you and control you. But even then, they count on your insecurity in order to bully you.
No job is worth this. You have to come to the belief that YOU are worth more than this. YOU don’t have to get mad, you just have to decide where your boundaries are.
Dictators and tyrants must be confronted and never allowed to continue bullying.
Then, decide what you’re willing to tolerate. What’s the worst that could happen if you stand up to the other person?
Once you’ve gotten clear on these things, just be yourself. It’s always possible that things won’t work out between you and the other person, but you'll gain respect for yourself by being true to yourself.
Always tell your truth with compassion. Be willing to accept the fact not everyone will like you or agree with you. What’s important is that you know you’re doing your best and you’ve been authentic. THAT’S powerful.
Copyright Success Networks International.
Last Updated 02/25/2006