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Getting Clear on Your Fear
Do you know when fear is holding you back?
I don’t. At least not always.
When I realize I’m fearful, I find it reasonably easy to face. I
can experience it and determine
whether it’s something I need to pay attention to or move
through it.
But when I DON’T notice my fear, I’m in danger of having it
sidetrack me and my objectives.
Our first line of defense is to be aware and be conscious of our
fears—to get clear on what it is that’s causing our fear. This
kind of inquiry is often more challenging than you might think.
Our fears can be slippery little devils.
And this is where many people stop. They’re simply unwilling to
determine what the real fear is. They remain in denial. But when
we get clear, we can go to the next step.
We can begin to determine if the fear is rational or irrational.
Most of our fears are not legitimate, but some are. If you find
yourself on an unstable perch, a healthy fear of heights is a
good thing indeed.
Once we decide whether our fear is rational or not, we have to
decide whether the payoff to moving out of our comfort zone
outpaces the discomfort of our fear.
Our energy flows where our focus goes. And our focus should be
on what we want, NOT what we don’t want.
In 1984, I did one of the first fire walks with Tony Robbins. He
was 24 years old and just beginning his rocket climb to fame and
fortune.
I can tell you from first-hand experience that looking at
1200-degree coals definitely causes you to face your fears.
One of the tactics Tony taught us in our pre-walk seminar was to
“be willing to face our worst-case scenario”. The idea is to
think of the worst thing that can happen—even exaggerate it—and
then see if we’re willing to accept the worst.
The exaggeration in THIS case was “bloody stumps”.
Over 120 people (all attendees) walked on fire. And to this day,
I still use my memory of
overcoming my fears that night when I feel trepidation in
anything I undertake—or consider
undertaking.
And I still have to work on being present enough to notice when
I’m feeling fear. It’s not like it’s always a shaking, quaking,
sweating fear. It’s simply the discomfort that sometimes keeps
us from going for all that we deserve.
I believe that awareness is 90-percent of overcoming any
problem. As the great inventor
and industrialist Charles Kettering said, “A problem clearly
stated is a problem half solved.”
Action Point
Notice when you're in fear. Think about it. Feel it. Your fears
can be valuable information for you, but they should be just
that—information for you to use. They shouldn't run you.
Evaluate your fears. Then move through them and bask in the
sunlight of your achievement.
The following is from Frank Herbert’s book “Dune”: “I will
not fear. Fear is the mind-killer. Fear is the little-death that
brings total obliteration. I will face my fear. I will permit it
to pass over me and through me. And when it has gone past, I
will turn the inner eye to see its path. Where the fear has gone
there will be nothing. Only I will remain.”
PS: In a separate mailing today, I’m sending you an
invitation to get a
free report: Seven Habits of a Confident Public
Speaker. It’s a good one.
In addition, if you’re fearful of public speaking—and most
people are—I highly recommend you get Graham Jones’ Stop
Public Speaking Fear. Get both
here.
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